GLOW

Indulge me for a moment. I tend to want to remain optimistic on this site, partially out of a certain sense of professionalism and a distaste for being too candid with strangers, but mainly out of a desire to remain encouraging to anyone who is suffering from similar problems and would benefit from making significant changes to their diet. But let us be realistic for a moment; sometimes properly taking care of yourself sucks. (Flat understatement.) Over time, I have learned that feeling sorry for myself earns me little comfort (or sympathy), and for the most part if anyone offers me words along the lines of, "That must be so hard," I shrug it off. I typically return their condolences by explaining how lucky I am to live in an area of the world where I have access to a great deal of foods that I tolerate, access to the information that I needed to understand the changes I needed to make in my life, and the creativity and resourcefulness required to flourish. I punctuate those truths with the most important one of all: that it is absolutely worth it, because I feel better than I have in years, and the memory of how unbearably awful I felt every day is enough to make eating the right foods an incredibly easy choice. 

But when you have a list of food restrictions the length of a college admissions essay, and are still managing chronic health problems, life can be hard--especially around the holidays. Last year around this time, I felt quite depressed and deflated. I had gone through months of rigorous testing and doctors appointments, and received no definitive answers except for a blood test which gave me a lengthy report of my food triggers on top of the ones I had already discovered during my elimination diet. I was just beginning to experiment with new foods, and the dishes that I brought with me weren't hits with the family or with my body. This year, my circumstances have improved, but I've felt a wave of anger about it all. Despite my strict diet and lifestyle modifications, I still get flare-ups of Candida, and I'm still unable to work because of my nerve inflammation. I have to make all of my food from scratch, every day. This means that if I want to go on a trip, or even leave my home for a significant amount of time, I have to plan, cook and pack, which can exacerbate the aforementioned inflammation. If family or friends want to eat out, I often have to eat beforehand, as accommodations can't always be made for me. This makes me quite conspicuous, and often results in everyone talking about my health problems for the bulk of the night. (I'm still learning the art of redirecting conversation.) It ends up being quite difficult to not feel like my identity is completely shaped by what is missing in my life, rather than what enriches it, like my main loves, music, art and photography. 

Anger, however, can be a gift, and I hope to use that emotion to help energize my next wave of searching for answers. I'm determined to make the new year a positive one. In the meantime, let's ride this wave of catharsis. Here, in answer to that need, and in answer to my many friends and family members repeated requests, is my current list of foods, spices and ingredients that I have to avoid. (Take a deep breath...)

The following can be eaten in extreme moderation: Sweet potatoes/yams & other sugary root vegetables including squash,  peas, grains of any kind (including quinoa, amaranth, buckwheat, etc.), foods high in fructans & inulin like endive, artichokes, and many of the foods I've already listed.

This seems to be a complete list. No doubt, those friends and family members who have asked will now be able to see why I haven't indulged them thus far. It is an intimidating list, and one which doesn't acknowledge those foods that I try to avoid for ethical & environmental reasons, such as veal and many fish. I am, however, fully aware of the need to pick my battles, so I can't claim to never consume farmed Atlantic Salmon or questionably sourced chicken or turkey if I am eating at a restaurant or as a guest in someone else's home without other options. 

Much gratitude and respect to anyone who has made it this far. Hopefully those of you who can relate to this will at least find comfort in knowing that you are not alone.

When I was younger, I was known to eat a bowl of cereal for every meal. That wasn't all I'd eat, but it was kind of an obligatory supplement to each meal. Remarkably, I seem to have graduated now to this meal, which I'm happy to say is a great deal more nutritious, though it is still admittedly ridiculous to eat it for every meal. It's hard to avoid sometimes, though, because it seems, at least for now, to be the perfect protein and calorie boost for me. It is one of the few dishes that actually give me a feeling of regeneration afterward. The vitamins and minerals packed into it are the reason, I'm sure. (Look here and here.) I enjoy this dish because I can wing it each time, and adjust the ingredients according to how much pain I'm in. If my arms aren't feeling up to prepping vegetables, I'll grab some frozen brussel sprouts out of the freezer, and either microwave, steam or saute them, but if time and nerves allow, I'll chop up some fresh sprouts instead. I am such a fan of brussel sprouts, and can completely understand why the French use their name, "petit chou", as a term of endearment. In my opinion, the only way to screw them up is to steam them until they're tasteless and soggy, or to pile unnecessary and uncomplimentary toppings and sauces on them. When sunflower seeds are toasted this way, they have a smoky flavor and scent that makes an excellent substitute for bacon bits. I love it when the simplest ingredients can satisfy cravings for old comfort foods like that. If you want to really help yourself out, toast and grind a bunch of seeds at once so that you can keep the meal on hand to sprinkle on veggies and salads whenever the mood strikes you. Here's what I use:

BRUSSEL SPROUTS (FRESH OR FROZEN)

RAW SUNFLOWER SEEDS

SEA SALT

OPTIONAL:

FENNEL SEED AND/OR GROUND FENNEL

FRESH BASIL

SQUEEZE OF LEMON

COOK BRUSSEL SPROUTS AS DESIRED (SAUTE, STEAM, OR IF FROZEN, MICROWAVE COVERED WITH WATER.) TOAST SUNFLOWER SEEDS IN PAN, AND GRIND IN FOOD PROCESSOR OR COFFEE GRINDER AS DESIRED*. IF USING FENNEL SEED, GRIND WITH SUNFLOWER SEEDS. MIX TOGETHER, SEASON WITH SALT, BASIL & LEMON.

*You can also reverse this. Grind them first, then toast the powder in the pan.

Though the season has kept me busy enough that I haven't documented as many of my own recipes for your plates as I'd hoped, I have been bookmarking a few recipes by some of my favorite food bloggers for you to peruse, and am including them below. All of these recipes would have to be adjusted for my own diet, but they are exciting foundations to work from.

BREADS & SPREADS
Gluten-Free, Egg-Free Biscuits @ Whole Life Nutrition Kitchen
Pumpkin & Feta Muffins @ 101 Cookbooks
Garlic Chive Drop Biscuits @ Affairs of Living
Yeast-Free Pumpkinseed Teff Sandwich Bread @ Affairs of Living
Pepper-Crusted Cashew "Cheese" With Herbs @ Affairs of Living
Cashew Pumpkin Seed "Cheese" With Apple-Cranberry Sauce @ Affairs of Living
Macadamia Nut Cheese @ Whole Life Nutrition Kitchen

SAVORY SOUPS
Christmas Lima Bean Stew @ 101 Cookbooks
Creamy Spinach & Celeriac Soup @ Affairs of Living
Creamy Sunchoke, Broccoli & Leek Soup @ Affairs of Living
Turnip & Pear Soup @ Diet, Dessert & Dogs
Roasted Chestnut & Parsnip Soup @ Diet, Dessert & Dogs

SALADS & SIDES
Quinoa, Roasted Beet & Walnut Salad @ Diet, Dessert & Dogs
Gluten-Free Chestnuts & Brussel Sprouts @ Elana's Pantry
Cauliflower, Parsnip & Bean Mash @ Diet, Dessert & Dogs
The Ravishing Rutabaga: 4 Recipes... @ Affairs of Living
Rutabaga Gratin @ Diet, Dessert & Dogs
Root Vegetable Lasagna @ GLOW

PROTEIN
Vegan Haggis @ Swell
Easy Breakfast “Sausage” Patties and Biscuits with Smoky Almond Gravy @ Diet, Dessert & Dogs
Portabello Steaks @ Diet, Dessert & Dogs
Wild Lentil Loaf With Parsnip Gravy (and more) @ Affairs of Living
Crockpot Beef Roast With Root Vegetables & Flourless Gravy @ Affairs of Living
Balsamic Roasted Chicken with Figs and Sweet Onions @ Whole Life Nutrition Kitchen

DESSERT
Holiday Nog @ Diet, Dessert & Dogs
Orange Olive Oil Mini Cakes @ The Sensitive Pantry
Buckwheat Cinnamon Rolls @ Whole Life Nutrition Kitchen
Pumpkin Custard @ Elana's Pantry
Fig & Walnut Baked Apples @ Diet, Dessert & Dogs
Mock Tapioca Pudding @ Diet, Dessert & Dogs
Chocolate Dipped Dates with Spiced Nuts @ Tasty Eats At Home
Kim's Dessert Index @ Affairs of Living (So that I don't end up listing them all here!)

If you are on a restricted diet for health reasons, treat yourself well during the holidays by arriving prepared to the festivities. Preparation can include both the physical, spiritual and emotional. First, either communicate with others involved in cooking regarding collaborating on dishes that you can enjoy, or bring them yourself. I like these tips from Marni Wasserman on what to consider when preparing your fare. Second, redefine the term "treat". Typically we think of this as something indulgent, not necessarily good for us, but a signal to ourselves that we deserve the best. For those of us with severe food sensitivities, though, considering the consequence of a "treat", it can end up feeling more masochistic than genuinely rewarding to indulge. Keep perspective, and remember that the most important thing is to feel well enough to enjoy your friends and family without being distracted by pain and discomfort. Third, bring your medicine. It's easy to make exceptions in our routines when we're traveling, but I've found that when I make the effort to bring my supplements and herbs with me, I have a significantly better visit. For me, the most important items to bring are my probiotics, my loose herbs and my tea ball. Pack your probiotics in ice, and select some herbs or teas that will soothe your typical symptoms. I find it especially helpful during the holidays to include blends with sweet flavors, particularly licorice root, as it is exceptionally sweet, and it helps to keep candida in check. Finally, stay grounded. It's easy when visiting with family to become a bit detached from our core; it's classic survival mode. The result of that, however, can be a lack of connection with our intuition, which tells us what our body and soul need to remain healthy and comfortable. Check in, stay aware of your needs, and take care of yourself.

Happy Holidays, dear ones.

On my current to-do list for you, friends, is to pour through my notes and recipes from this past year, and test them to finally discover what temperatures and times to cook them at, as my old malfunctioning stove was replaced this past week with a new one. This is a bit tricky, as I haven't been very consistent with writing my recipes down, and my new oven seems to come with a few quirks that I need to decipher. A dear friend recently sent me a lovely notebook to write my recipes in, so with this thoughtful gift in tandem with my new appliance, I should have some tasty dishes for you soon.

This past year, after sacrificing my love for the traditional American's sugary breakfasts, I was excited to find some respite in Whole Life Nutrition's Teff Banana Pancakes recipe, and I cooked them quite frequently while I was in denial still about my intolerance to the tropical pale-fleshed fruit. I've missed them dearly, and so have wanted to come up with a delicious recipe that could help bring the sweet breakfasts of my past back to my table. I was ecstatic yesterday when I tasted these buddies and realized that I had, once again, made my own culinary dreams come true. These lovely, spongey, crepe-like pancakes are sweet, light, and richly flavored, and are some of the best pancakes I have ever tasted...gluten-free or otherwise. Luckily for you and I, they are also filled with high-quality protein and iron, as well as magnesium and a number of other essential vitamins and minerals. (See here and here.) They would taste delicious topped with fruit and syrup, but if you, like me, have to avoid these forbidden delights, you can enjoy them with your favorite nut or seed butter, or if you are able to tolerate it, coconut butter. I topped mine with some sunflower seed butter (Maranatha's new one contains no added sugar or sweeteners!), and served them with a hearty vegetable and sweet potato hash.

New to these ingredients? Amaranth flour is an important flour to add to your gluten-free pantry, and it can typically be found in the bulk section of your local health food store, or pre-packaged in the gluten-free flour section. Online you can find it here and here. I buy my cashews by the pound from either Whole Foods or Trader Joe's, but you can also get them by the pound at local Indian markets and online. Tapioca flour/starch can usually be found pre-packaged in health food stores, as well as in asian food markets and online. It is a versatile and tasty thickener and binder, so I highly recommend getting your hands on some. Stevia powder, derived from a naturally sweet herb, can be found at Trader Joe's or your local health food store; I purchase my vanilla powder (because of my alcohol intolerance) at Whole Foods.

YOU'LL NEED:

NON-STICK PAN OR GRIDDLE

WIDE, FLEXIBLE SPATULA

1/2 CUP AMARANTH FLOUR

1/2 CUP FINELY GROUND RAW CASHEWS

1/4 CUP TAPIOCA FLOUR/STARCH

1 TSP BAKING POWDER

1/2 TSP PURE VANILLA POWDER

1/4 TSP SEA SALT

1/8 TSP STEVIA POWDER

2 TBS FLAX MEAL

1/2 TSP BAKING SODA

1 TSP FRESH-SQUEEZED LEMON JUICE

2 TBS COCONUT OIL

1 1/4 CUP UNSWEETENED HEMPMILK*

MIX THE FIRST SEVEN INGREDIENTS TOGETHER IN A MEDIUM BOWL. IN ANOTHER BOWL, MIX THE FLAXMEAL AND BAKING SODA. HEAT THE COCONUT OIL AND HEMPMILK UNTIL THE OIL IS MELTED, ADD A FEW TABLESPOONS TO THE FLAXMEAL, AND QUICKLY MIX IT UNTIL THE MIXTURE STARTS TO GEL. ADD THE LEMON JUICE, AND MIX UNTIL FOAMY. ADD THE REMAINING LIQUID, MIX, AND THEN ADD TO THE DRY INGREDIENTS. MIX THOROUGHLY. HEAT THE PAN OR GRIDDLE ON MEDIUM-LOW HEAT. ADD ENOUGH COCONUT OIL TO THOROUGHLY COAT THE SURFACE. WHEN HEATED, ADD ABOUT A 1/4 CUP OF BATTER AT A TIME, GENTLY CIRCLING OUT TO DESIRED SIZE. FLIP WHEN GOLDEN BROWN ON THE BOTTOM. MAKE SURE THAT THE SURFACE IS ALWAYS COATED WITH THE OIL, ADDING MORE AS NECESSARY.

MAKES ABOUT 10-12 4-5 INCH PANCAKES

*Living Harvest Unsweetened Original is the only hemp milk I've found without soy lecithin, brown rice and sweeteners of any sort.